and such WERE some of you...

is it possible that in trying to figure out who i am, i've forgotten who i really am?

"It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a FREE life...use your freedom to serve one another, that's how freedom grows.

...My counsel is this: live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feel the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied-wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

...But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard--things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find oursevles involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is HELPLESS in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good--crucified!

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original."

- the apostle Paul in Galatians 5 (MSG)

Word.

ignorance ain't bliss and grace ain't cheap...

so, last night at church, the speaker was laying groundwork for the easter story.

he was talking about what the cross meant to the Jews. among other things, it meant freedom from temple sacrifice. to us, this doesn't mean a whole lot...but to them...

imagine...every time they sinned or messed up, it was like "dang it, gotta go get another animal, drag it to the temple and make a sacrifice." chances are, you'd probably sin again before you even got home! so back you went to stand in line, once again...get another animal...

over and over and over for thousands of years, this is how they atoned for all of their sins...ALL the rules they had to abide by (i.e. Leviticus), ALL the times they fell short of God's holy standard...

and then, the day comes when ONE man makes ONE sacrifice that means you NEVER have to make a temple sacrifice EVER again.

what would you be feeling? how much joy? how much relief? how much gratitude? just because of that ONE simple aspect?

we live under the new covenant...always have...we have NO idea what this was like...and for that and many other reasons, we fall so short in gratitude and understanding EVERYthing we've been saved from.

do we even understand the concept of sacrifice? whether it was Jesus' sacrifice or sacrifice He asks of us? do we?

do we understand grace? atonement?

i think this easter, it would be pretty darn cool to try to experience easter through the eyes of the ancient Jews.

how would it change our lives?

i think it would be appropriate to end with these words of Paul...a man who understood exactly what all of this meant...

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you:
Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping,
eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life -
and place it before God as an offering. Embracing
what God does for you is the best thing you can do
for Him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your
culture that you fit into it without even thinking.
Instead, fix your attention on God. you'll be
changed from the inside out. Readily recognize
what he wants from you, and quickly resond to it.
Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you
down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best
out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)


i wish i never took grace for granted. i do. but i wish i didn't.

let me introduce you to my supporting cast...

in the search for improved mental, emotional and physical health, i am trying my hands (and feet!) at daily morning exercise. NOT easy for this girl...but i'm DOING IT! getting out of the house to jog/walk has been more beneficial than i bargained (or hoped) for. in part, because i have encountered a new and regular host of characters who enhance each and every morning...

and i would love to introduce you to them.

first we have big-guy-with-little-dogs. parading through the neighborhood in his sleeveless t-shirts, big-guy-with-little-dogs proudly leads his three pristinely white toy poodles on their daily walk. each of his puffy little princesses dawns her own color-coded wide, satin collar and leash. hold your head high, big-guy-with-little-dogs!

then we have rosary lady. walking swiftly, clutching her blue rosary and visibly muttering her "hail marys." each step is one closer to justification.

and ohhhhhh three-old-asian-ladies-on-a-bench, how i love thee. squeezing themselves onto a bench built for two, they clutch their walkers and hold their heads up to peer at each other from under their extraordinary large sun visors as they furiously gossip in their particular asian language about each of the passersby. considering how long it took them to walk-er their way to that bench in the middle of the park, they are perfectly content to sit there until their sun visors long past needed.

then we have shuffly-turban guy. a sweet, old indian man who makes his way around the park each morning. with his pants far too short and his turban far too orange, we mutter a happy "good morning" to each other as we pass.

saving the best for last, we have my favorite...really-old-guy-with-really-old-dogs. i've seen him walking his dogs in my neighborhood for a couple of years now. his two small terriers are soulmates in canine form. their dog years match his human years. they hobble at the same speed...taking the same length of time to mount curbs, round corners and smell the roses; expending more energy than they have and pausing to wait for their second or seventeeth wind. their speed maxes out at one hesitant foot in front of the other. they are quite the threesome...always the same speed, always together, never leaving another behind.

really-old-guy-with-really-old-dogs has earned a special place in my heart, and each day i earn a "hello" or a smile (consisting of one upturned mouth corner), i consider it victory. he brings a certain joy to my life, he does. one of these days, i want to sit on a bench next to him, ask him the names of his two faithful companions and maybe hear a few stories from his long and no doubt interesting life.

these characters are the mile-markers in my mornings. they make an unhappy task more like a treasure hunt. they make something foreign feel comfortable. as much as they are strangers, they are becoming familiar community to me...and it feels good.

there's a world so much bigger than the one i live in...and it exists right within my neighborhood.

who knew?